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Taking Care of Anger
Thích Nhất Hạnh, in his book Anger , observes the habit of conflict that grows like a weed in us. Those weeds can crowd out the fruits and flowers that also are present, and available with a reach of the hand, a careful embrace, or a single breath.
If your house is on fire, the most urgent thing to do is to put out the fire, not to run after the person you believe to be the arsonist. If you run after the person you suspect has burned your house, your house will burn down while you are chasing him or her. That is not wise. You must go back and put out the fire. So when you are angry, if you continue to interact or argue with the other person, if you try to punish her, you are acting exactly like someone who runs after the arsonist while everything goes up in flames.
The Buddha gave us very effective instruments to put out the fire in us: the method of mindful breathing, the method of mindful walking, the method of embracing our anger, the method of looking deeply into the nature of our perceptions, and the method of looking deeply into the other person, to realize that she also suffers a lot and needs help.
